KGRA Exclusive Teaser: New Primal Scream Video from the Star Trek Into Darkness Soundtrack 

We at KGRA are excited to bring you a sneak peek of the new Primal Scream video for “Movin’ On Up (2013)”, the lead single from the Star Trek Into Darkness soundtrack. A little tribble told us that Primal Scream frontman Bobby Gillespie is a total Felicity freak and jumped at the chance to work with director JJ Abrams

KGRA Presents: Rock Factoids 

Due to the decline of recording artist royalties, Ben Folds would have to sell twice the amount of Christmas gifts in 2012 to fund his girlfriend’s abortion than he did in Ben Folds Five’s 1997 hit single, “Brick”. Illegal downloading hurts everyone.

(Source, RIAA)

Metallica Finally Reveal Hidden Images on the Cover of “The Black Album” 

After years of speculation, the band Metallica finally revealed what is actually hidden on the cover of their breakthrough 1991 album.

The album, which is eponymously-titled but known widely as “The Black Album”, features cover art that looks to be nothing but a blank, black square. But over the years, fans have speculated that there may be something lurking behind that darkness, something too faint to be seen with the human eye.

Drummer Lars Ulrich and bassist Robert Trujillo represented the band as the unveiling took place yesterday afternoon at the Reptile House in the Oakland Zoo.

“People have been bugging us for a long time about this. We felt the time was right to end the rumors once and for all. Ladies and gentlemen, the hidden images,” said Ulrich.

And with that, he pulled a sheet off of a giant, cleaned up image of the album cover, clearly showing a coiled snake in the bottom right hand corner and the band’s signature logo at the top left hand corner.

The reaction was clearly mixed among the people gathered in the small room. A few audible gasps peppered the tiny crowd, along with the sound of several loud high fives.

“Oh I think it’s pretty neat. I’m not really into Metallica, though. I’m just here at the zoo with my daughter.”

For some it hit closer to home.

“You know, I was still just a fan when it came out,” said Trujillo, who joined the group in 2003. “My friends and I would argue back and forth while we listened to it. One guy would be like, that’s totally a spring man. And we’d all be like, nah, I don’t know. Me personally? I thought it was some brass knuckles down in the bottom corner and somebody’s flattened face up at the top there. It made sense, being a metal album and all. But a snake is pretty cool.”

Ulrich said he felt like a huge weight was lifted off his chest.

“It’s finally over. I will admit, it was really fun. You don’t see a lot of mystique like that in rock n roll anymore.”

The band had nothing more to announce other than some tour dates in Australia next year.

Reported by KGRA reptile reporter, Joe J

Moods Like Jagger: Stones Singer Distraught After Failed Fundraiser 

It seems when rocker Mick Jagger finally completes his new solo album; he’ll be doing so on his own dime.

Jagger had hoped to fund the project via the alternative funding website, Kickstarter.

“The complexion of the record industry is completely different since Sir Mick released his last solo album (2001’s ‘Goddess in the Doorway’). Record companies are running their operations with a never relenting view on the budget. Mick doesn’t take kindly to penny pinchers on the other side of the vocal booth.” says Sir Leigh Feltmond-Peltmondo, Jagger’s ‘Director of Internet Relations’. “When Sir Mick is in that groove, he doesn’t want to have to worry if there is enough cash for the tape operator to have his tea break.”

Jagger presented his plea via an eight-minute film, directed by noted video director, Anton Corbijin. In it, Jagger speaks from the lounging area of his ski Chalet in Switzerland.

(From the presentation, entitled, “Come Up to My Cloud”)

“No longer do we have to be beholden to record executives and their hidden agendas. With your help, I can deliver the music directly to you. There is no division. In the end, I am you…and you are me. Please help and become part of the dialog at Kickstarter.com/SirMickJagger.”

Jagger’s impassioned plea fell on deaf ears, as the project ended more than seven and half million dollars short of its eight million dollar goal.

“We obviously misjudged the market. People just don’t care about supporting the arts like they used to. It’s a real shame. We had an all-star lineup for the album: Don Was, Shooter Jennings, Quad City DJs, Bobby McFerrin, Zakk Wylde and many more,” says Feltmond-Peltmondo. “Sir Mick was so distraught, he flung his salmon mousse into the hot tub—that’s just not him. Sir Mick loves salmon mousse.”

Critics have suggested that Jagger’s expectations for his Kickstarter were unrealistic and that the premiums for participating were paltry compared to other projects.

(Via Jagger’s Kickstarter page)

10 Dollars or more = 1 “I Helped Mick Jagger” sticker
100 Dollars or more = 5 “I Helped Mick Jagger” stickers
1000 Dollars or more = 75 “I Helped Mick Jagger” stickers
10,000 Dollars or more = 150 “I Helped Mick Jagger” stickers, MP3 download of completed album. Special “Thank You” in a plain text file accompanying the MP3s.

“I think this is a fitting slap in the face for a bloated dinosaur like Mick Jagger,” says Jim Gibbs, curator of the music blog ‘Seagram’s Music Mix’. “The day of unlimited budgets for artists is over. Come on Mick, get with the program. Ever heard of Garageband?”

Feltmond-Peltmondo says Jagger is undeterred. “Sir Mick is going to try again. He spent three thousand dollars on stickers and there’s no way he’s going let those boxes sit in his foyer. He’s in it to win it.”

Malibu Man Charged With Fabricating Dylan Quotes 

In the wake of the recent “Dylan quote scandal,” a Southern California resident has been accused of fabricating a startlingly large number of Bob Dylan quotes — “Maybe thousands,” say researchers.

The man, who lives in the seaside community of Malibu, is suspected of inventing quotes and attributing them to Dylan over a long period of time.  “This could go back five decades,” said noted Dylanologist Ajay “Doneeda” Webberman. “We’re talking about small quotations, larger excerpts; even entire interviews.”

Scholars became suspicious when they noticed, through new methods of textual analysis, a consistency in wording across much of the material attributed to Dylan over the years. “As many as 98% or 99% of ‘Bob Dylan’ interviews may have actually been conducted by this guy,” Webberman said. “It’s shocking — he must have been presenting himself as Dylan for years.”

At press time, a new detail had emerged: the suspect, believed to be a Midwestern native in his early ’70s, may have written almost all the lyrics published under Dylan’s name during the legendary artist’s career.

“Everything except ‘Visions of Johanna’,” said a researcher. “That was written by R&B star Robin Thicke, for his stepmother, Joanna Kerns.”

Great Moments in Indie Rock History 

• 1989: In a novel partnership, Saab pays $250,000 for an advertisement on the cover of Slint’s “Tweez” LP. (Both the automaker and the “post-rock” genre would later be absorbed by General Motors; Saab and post-rock both filed for bankruptcy in late 2011.) 

(One in a series)

Great Moments in Indie Rock History 

• 8/26/94: Lou Barlow’s “license to confuse” is revoked when he signals left, but merges right, on I-95 North after a show in Providence, R.I.

(One in a series)

David Bowie Discusses His Brief Ban from Saturday Night Live 

Editor’s Note: This nugget was found by Young Master Joe J, folded into a copy of Tower Records “Pulse” magazine from 1999. We can only surmise it was intended for an earlier version of this site, “Gibby Haynes Death Pool”

While rock musician David Bowie’s return to Saturday Night Live this weekend may seem like a routine promotional appearance for his new album “’Hours…’”, many may be surprised to learn that it bears the weight of some behind-the-scenes controversy.

“I was banned from the show,” said Bowie from his dressing room while waiting to do a soundcheck.

From Milton Berle to Sinéad O’Connor, many celebrities have been banned from the comedic institution for a variety of reasons over the years. The show’s creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels is usually the one who wields the hammer in such matters, and the incident in February of 1997 was no different.

Earlier that week, Bowie had expressed interest in appearing in a sketch to Michaels over dinner one evening. Michaels let his writers know the next day and they came up with an idea which Bowie initially approved of.

“The gist was that I was somehow roped into a low budget telly advert for a Brooklyn bakery. They wanted me to sing about their pastries or what have you. One of the things they came up with was a version of my song, ‘Watch That Man’. But instead, in the chorus I would sing, ‘Try our flan’.”

Bowie took issue with the way the writers wanted him to pronounce the word “flan”. While either of the two main pronunciations is generally accepted, the veteran rock star and food connoisseur was miffed at saying it the “wrong” way.

“David is a man of the world,” said Michaels.

“He’s seen it all. And he takes food very seriously. I get that. But when you are running a big, live production like we are, last second changes can be complicated.”

While Bowie expressed misgivings throughout the week, he eventually agreed to do the sketch as written. But as the show was being broadcast live he changed his mind. He backed out after his first musical performance and the sketch had to be scrapped and replaced.

Late-game changes are nothing new to Saturday Night Live. The show is more than prepared to handle sudden disruptions. And although Bowie’s late decision to bow out of the sketch did anger Michaels, it was not what ultimately got him the boot.

“I was scheduled to perform a single from my ‘Earthling’ album called ‘Telling Lies’. Just before the band took the stage I decided to take the piss out of Lorne a bit because I knew he wasn’t happy with me.”

What happened next may have looked completely innocuous to the viewing public, but it was a deliberate statement that cut one man to his core.

Instead of the new single, the band played 1981’s “Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)”, a song that Michaels confessed to Bowie in private was “absolutely terrifying” to him.

“We got to talking about this and that at dinner one night and Lorne’s SNL hiatus in the early 80s came up. He told me how it was the darkest period of his life and he described how much cocaine he did while listening to my “Scary Monsters” album. Just mountains and mountains of the stuff. Sometimes straight off the record sleeve. Those were his words. I want that to be clear about that.”

When the song was over, Bowie was immediately escorted from the studio.

“They didn’t waste any time. The real shame of it was there was a lovely fruit basket in my dressing room that I wanted to take back to my hotel. I obviously didn’t get to. I was very sore about that. Still am, to tell you the truth.”

Michaels declined to go into specifics about his decision to ban Bowie, but he did confirm that the ban happened.

So why is Bowie back this weekend, only three years removed from the incident?

“We’re mates. We have been since the 70s. He knows now that I was just trying to get a rise out of him. Maybe I could have done it less, I don’t know, showy. But the air has been cleared, obviously.”

This week’s host Jerry Seinfeld had no idea that his musical guest was ever banned.

“Get out. I did not know that,” said Seinfeld.

Michaels and Bowie had dinner this week, as they did back in 1997.

“Let’s just say that we didn’t get into too many deep, dark secrets this time around,” said Bowie.

"Soulseek, more like Bowlofdicks" 

Starting Monday, in a historic partnership with the latest innovators in copy-protection, all computer users attempting to illegally download any of the Ice-T/Body Count catalog or torrent any episodes of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit will see this message, and their I.P. addresses will immediately be forwarded to the FBI.

For Ice-T, who recently spoke out against gun control in the wake of the Aurora shooting, this marks a stunning break with his previous anti-law enforcement stance. Kim Gordon’s Real Age will keep you posted with any updates as we continue to F5 his Twitter page.

Former Live Vocalist Offers Transcendent Cleansing With New Product 

Singer/songwriter, Ed Kowalczyk has thrown his hat into the lucrative personal hygiene ring with a new line of intimate cleansers.

“One day, I realized this product didn’t exist and I couldn’t understand why,” says Kowalczyk.  “I knew it was up to me to make it happen. I knew I could make something that could clean people’s bodies and souls, all with a direct connection to my artistic integrity.”

That product became “Ed Kowalczyk’s Artisanal Douches” and is available for preorder on the artist’s website this Friday.

“The first thing I want people to know is that this is a douche for everyone.  Woman or man, child or animal—anyone can benefit from the cleansing properties of my product. It’s specially formulated with ingredients that bridge the mind/spirit/body. It doesn’t matter if you’ve just completed a sabbatical in Tibet or played a round of tennis for a ‘save the dolphins’ benefit, my product will get you clean, inside and out.”

The main line comes in three signature “characters”, “Secret Samadhi”, “Selling the Drama” and “Sandalwood”. Those who desire a more personalized cleaning experience can opt for “Ed Kowalczyk’s Artisanal Douche: Select”

“E.K.A.D.S. is special blend that I create through collecting your personal spiritual data in an exhaustive interview (via email). I take that data and pray over it near a babbling brook on my property.  When the breeze is just right and the light over the horizon begins to die, I light some sage and say an Inuit incantation.  Then I head over to my personal herb garden and pluck out ingredients inspired by my thoughts about you and create something really special. It comes in a hand-fashioned dispenser made from a ram’s bladder with my signature on it.  You also get a jar of the mud near the brook where I thought of you and a copy of my solo CD, ‘Alive’.  At $2300, it’s a steal. I defy you to find a custom artisanal douche any cheaper.”

Does Kowalczyk expect a high demand for this product?

“I’ve been into douching since Live’s ‘Mental Jewelry’ days. I believe in its power completely. It’s changed my life. Ask anyone who knows me; I’m a Sensei of douching. I think this is a great way for me to connect with my fanbase.

Pre-orders start this Friday at edkowalczykhandmadedouces.to. Ed will also be signing bottles at the Hobby Lobby in Lebanon, Pennsylvania, and The Crying Seal Bookstore in York on August 11th.

“I’m bringing my guitar and kalimba. I’ll be telling stories about my journeys and educating about douching all afternoon. Stop by.”