King Diamond Forced to Flee Kingdom 

Singer King Diamond has joined a long list of troubled dictators this week by fleeing his kingdom amongst large scale rioting and protests by his subjects.

Diamond’s problems began when Wikileaks released U.S. State Department cables describing widespread financial mismanagement of his kingdom’s finances.  The cables reveal that Diamond has spent millions on corpsepaint stage makeup, imported human skeletons from India, and thousands of pairs of fingerless leather gloves.  The singer also commissioned an edition of “Legends of the Old West” from Time-Life books, bound in human skin, which cost forty million dollars alone.

“We are a simple people,” said one of the protestors outside Diamond’s castle.  “Our only export is those little plastic novelty swords that bartenders use to skewer olives.  With more people today drinking at home, there is less of a need for our product.  We only asked that his majesty live within a budget, just like his subjects are required to every day.  Sadly, he has refused.”

A unnamed source, close to King Diamond , claims that his advisors begged him to limit his spending in light of the crashing “little plastic drink sword” market, but that sent Diamond into a depression that led to even more spending.

“He couldn’t be happy with just a simple moat, he had to have it double deep, heated, and extra slimy.  Have you seen the TV show, “Hoarders”?  He’s like one of those people, but with suits of armor and inverted crosses,” says an unnamed former employee.

King Diamond was unavailable for interview, but issued a statement addressing his subjects via scroll.

I have done my best to be a benevolent dictator to my supplicants.  I have tried to have an ‘open castle-door’ policy that allows anyone with a concern to bring it forth.  It seems that my attempts to make this fiefdom the best fiefdom it can be has fallen upon deaf ears.  I will take my leave of you immediately.  I hope you are happy.  You have broken this man’s heart.  I pray to the almighty Lucifer that you will come to your senses before it is too late.

Don’t Break the Oath,

King Diamond

KGRA has learned that King Diamond has applied for asylum status in the United States and is currently staying with his cousin, Beastie Boy, Michael Diamond in New York City.