Juggalos Strike Back, Take Aim at Alternative Comedy 

A rash of Juggalo on comedy nerd-violence has broken out across the United States.  The violence is being attributed to a backlash from fans of the rap group, Insane Clown Posse, against a series of public slights by comedians in recent months.

    “Yo, I’m getting tired of motherfuckers with glasses and beards laughing at me and saying I don’t know how magnets work.  I’m throwing down,” says Peter Winkleman aka, Kaos-Dogz, a self-described, “Juggalo”.  “I fucking know how magnets work and know this baseball bat is going to be naturally attracted to some fool’s skull bone.”

    The recent escalation of violence is being attributed to a comedy show presented by the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater of New York, poking fun at Juggalo culture via a mock funeral for a deceased infant.  Representatives from Insane Clown Posse successfully filed a “cease and desist” order to stop performances of “The Gathering of the Juggalos for a Mother Fucking Baby Funeral” last week.

    Not soon after the news of the UCB show hit Juggalo message boards such as, “dontbeafaygo.nz” and “pychopathicnutz.in”, there were reports of violence towards self-styled “comedy nerds”, including the assault of two twenty three year old males leaving the UCB’s Los Angeles theater after Tuesday’s “Comedy Bang Bang” standup comedy show.

    “Somebody called out to us, ‘Hey Tim and Eric’.  I stopped and turned around because sometimes I have been mistaken for Eric Wareheim and I’m a big fan.  Before I could even say a word, I got hit in the face and knocked out,” says one of the victims of the attack, who asked to remain anonymous.  

      “I woke up and they had put black lipstick on me, shaved my beard into a goatee, and ripped my limited-run ‘Venture Brothers’ shirt.  I’m scared to go to shows now.  I mean, I was kind of getting tired of seeing the same five comedians every week, but getting attacked really sealed it for me.”  

    There have also been reports around the country of several late-night screenings of the comedy “Bridesmaids” interrupted by orange soda being sprayed on the screen by people dressed in baggy clothing and clown makeup.  The film is a current favorite in the alternative comedy community.

    “I used to like ‘alternative comedy’ when I was in high school,” says Juggalo, Ethan Shumbry aka Myple Szzrup.  “Then I went to a David Cross show.  I had a great time, I went backstage to go meet him, and he made fun of the gold crucifix I was wearing and told me I was a ‘sucker’.  I went home and burned my ‘Mr. Show’ DVDs in the fireplace.  It caused a chimney fire and burned down my house.  I got sent to reform school the next week.  It was there that I met Juggalos and they never judged or made fun of me.  It was great.  Now, when I hear guys like Paul F. Tompkins and Tim Wooster make fun of us, I want payback.”

    In fact, well-dressed comedian, Paul F Tompkins has become a symbol of sorts for the Juggalo anti-alternative comedy movement.  Many of the ICP’s fans point to his and radio host Tom Scharpling’s mocking of “The Gathering of the Juggalos” on a July 2009 episode of “The Best Show on WFMU” as their “personal 9/11”.

    “It all started with those guys.  I listened to a tape and it made me sick.  The Gathering of the Juggalos is a sacred event to us.  How would they feel if we made fun of Comicon or whatever stupid shit those geeks are into?” says Uckse Yme Ickde, director of media relations for “Juggalos Assembled for Citizenship, Organizing, Fundraising and Family” or “J.A.C.O.F.F.”

    “I don’t condone violence towards anyone, but Juggalos are feeling the pressure from these comedy nerd bullies.  They don’t feel safe walking in shopping malls without the constant threat of mockery and derision from self-appointed comedy tastemakers.  Just because I like Paulie Shore more than Patton Oswalt, I can’t go into a Hot Topic without being made fun of?  That’s bullshit.  Things have to change.”

    What exactly do Juggalos want from the alternative comedy community?

    “A little respect.  A little fucking sensitivity,” Ickde says.  “Perhaps it’s time to set your sights on another target, like cosplay or emo kids for example.  Quit making fun of us on your podcasts and at your open mics.  We can only take so much and we ain’t afraid of burning your motherfucking houses down.”

    The North Hollywood chapter of J.A.C.O.F.F. is staging a protest/effigy burning called, “Juggalo Jokes are So Wack, It’s Hack” outside the Los Angeles UCB theater this Friday.

    KGRA will continue with this story as it develops.