Steely Dan Guitarist Returned To Hall of Fame 

                                   

Clevelanders can once again breath a sigh of relief. After losing hoops-star LeBron James this summer it seemed like they may of lost another one of their local legends. Thankfully, as of 5PM today, Walter Becker is back in the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame and resting comfortably after being kidnapped last Thursday.

Becker, 60, said he was “quite moody” about the whole ordeal, but after eating some of the Hall’s Slow-Ham Claptonsnacks he claimed to have felt better. Becker is originally from Queens, New York, but has been a permanent Cleveland resident since Donald Fagen donated him to the hall back in 1996.

The thieves personally turned themselves in after finding out that they have captured the famous musician. They mistook him for the robotic remains of Lou Reed in the “No Money Down” video (skip to 2:30 mark) and didn’t know he was a living being until Becker started messing with the criminal’s stereo setting. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame does not seek to press charges on the thieves if they volunteer to clean Becker’s cage of scraps and Gaucho B-sides.